I’m not perfect.

Perfection – certainly not a word used when you’re dealing with Diabetes.

ha-haBack when I first started pumping, I put the “change inset” schedule on my calendar. Because, you know, you change it every 3 days and that would remind me in the morning to change the inset and fill a new cartridge before my shower – every 3 days.

And I’d read where people’s pumps would run out of insulin. And I’d smugly think, “Well, if they’d just schedule it like I do, they wouldn’t run out of insulin.”

And then – a doorknob happened – or a kinked cannula happened – or life happened. And that 3 day schedule – down the tubes. At first I’d readjust the calendar schedule after the mishaps.

But now? I gave up the calendar scheduling. (Try not to laugh…)

I use a cartridge down to the last drop because – I forgot to change my inset/cartridge that morning.

Or even more annoying – will finishing showering and dressing for work, only to figure out there’s not enough insulin to last through the day.

Or – exasperating – get ready to eat lunch at work and find out I don’t have enough insulin for lunch.

Eeeeeek!

Yes, I carry an insulin pen for those times. I even have needles for the pen! (I forgot needles one trip.)

But I smile when I think of how “smug” I was years ago. And I’m grateful that I never expressed that smugness on a blog or anywhere else.

welcome-to-perfection

PS – Animas Ping Pumps play Für Elise when you are close to running out of insulin. Driving yesterday and listening to the radio, Für Elise came on. I shut off the radio!

 

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5 Responses to I’m not perfect.

  1. Scott E says:

    How coincidental is it that I was in the middle of bolusing 3.2 units from my 2.1 unit-full reservoir as I read that post? (I’ll tap the “hidden reserve” and change the site after breakfast). I’ve gotten in the habit of filling my reservoir right to the 120-unit mark, which pretty much forces me to change my site every 3 (to 3 1/2) days. Sometimes at work. But between MedT’s adjustable low-reservoir threshold (set to about 2/3 my daily dose, so I know at breakfasttime if I’ll make it to dinner) and the “open circle” indicator I’m pretty good at.

    But to your bigger point, I understand completely. That “smugness” feeling I think comes subconsciously, and you can’t blame yourself or feel guilt over how you feel (even though I sometimes do). It’s how – or if at all – you express it that counts, while still remaining realistic, trustworthy, and authentic, which I think you have.

  2. Kate Cornell says:

    Welcome to the imperfect world!

  3. Perfection, something we should always aim for but know and accept hat we will not attain. I don’t know who said that but something I try to remember (yet often forget). I had something happen to me very recently – the failure to achieve perfection made me eat a bowl of spaghetti!

  4. Katy says:

    ❤ ❤ ❤

    I used to think that too—WHAT FOOLS! RUNNING ON EMPTY!

    This is too familiar. Some other things I used to do perfectly: get prescriptions filled monthly. HA ha ha ha ha.

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